Tag Archives: Oprah

‘Be impeccable with your words’ – do yours matter?

Because I recently heard don Miguel Ruiz being interviewed by Phil Cartwright, I became interested in his book ‘The Four Agreements’. I then came across don Miguel Ruiz again, this time being interviewed on Oprah, and agreement no. 1 is ‘Be impeccable with your word’.

Yes. Oh yes. This is a path to happiness and delight, whereas lying rots the soul.

I still squirm inside when I recall a huge bare-faced lie I told my father many years ago after I’d been expelled from Eton. I was supposed to have no contact with any of my mates there but of course I did, and was found out. Thinking on my feet, I concocted a cock-and-bull story about how I was trying to warn them not to make the same mistakes I’d made (when in fact I was wanting them to carry on making them, and to be sure to keep including me).
Because my father loved me, he chose to believe me, and every time I heard him backing up my story, I died inside a little more. Even now I squirm, feel the tinge of shame. It was not my finest hour, he says, breathing deeply through the shame.

I now use my words with care.
The reason I am so careful now about what I say and commit to is because to me, when I say ‘yes’ or ‘no’, I feel I am committing my whole life. 100%. Nothing less. My own words put me on the line. My own line. I am my own defence and prosecution, my own judge and jury. There is nowhere for me to hide.
My words are not transitory sounds on the waffling waves of life – on my own personal timeline they represent me, ME, my energetic reality, my Truth. Indelibly. Even if everyone else has forgotten them, I still remember.
And I know ultimately there is a reckoning, my own reckoning, I need to face.

When I lie (which, yes, peeps, I have been known to do 🙂 🙂 🙂 ), when I tell a bare-faced lie, I feel ill. I feel my being going into recoil with distaste. It is an extremely unpleasant feeling, it is self-abusive and it is a toxic bomb going off in my deepest me. It is horrid, and it diminishes me, and takes a lot of breathing through. I’ve already got a shedload of lies I need to be at peace with, at Truth with.
I don’t want to make this any harder than it is already going to be.
So now I tell as few lies as possible, as seldom as possible, to myself and anyone else. This also means behaving in as Truthful a way as possible because you don’t to have to tell a lie if you don’t have anything to lie about.

So when I tell you ‘I love you’, or ‘Yes’, or ‘No’, I mean it. I am putting my whole being on the line, and I welcome you here.


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