Tag Archives: lust

It’s all about the love – but why?

I got drawn into a love thread last night, love, sex, lust, desire, bliss, and it’s still rattling around my consciousness. I’ve been in love almost all my adult life so I’ve known pain, grief, heartbreak, despair, lust, desire, pleasure, intimacy, surrender, ecstasy, connection. I’ve known the freshness of that first moment of new bloom, the rosebud of potentiality, the will it/won’t it, the excitement, the speeding up of the heart, the breathlessness. I’ve known the abrupt intrusion of reality, the bubble bursting, that instant transition from a some-thing to a no-thing, even when the some-thing was hot connecting delight. Suddenly a new moment of awareness breaks, the picture changes, and that perfect thing is over – because as it was, it was perfect. In its moments of existence, it was a perfect expression, a perfect communication, a launch into the unknown which just happened to have a surprisingly sudden end. Yet as it was, it was perfect, a soul was touched, and maybe deep life came alive once again. It remembered.
I’ve known the transition from intense beginnings to the plateau of the still apparently flawless loving-known. I’ve seen those first cracks appear, have beaten myself up for no longer being flawless, have sailed on and off the rocks, have been smashed hard and repeatedly and ultimately obliterated. Shredded. Pulverised. Blown into a mass of tiny sobbing hurting pieces.
And I’ve always licked my wounds, picked myself up, and tentatively at first but with increasing focus got back up, and re-entered the fray without fear.
Because love is the journey home. Love, so many things to so many people, but it brings an aliveness like no other.
When we love, we connect. When we love, we surrender our self and for those moments, which might last fleetingly or lingeringly, something else flows through us. We connect with something larger than our self. Infinitely larger than our self.
The delusion of sex is that it’s just a pleasure that passes. But it can remind us of something larger, it can prepare us for an adventure into the heart, where there’s pain galore but also ecstasy and delight. And in the same way that every ‘Om’ is connected with every other ‘Om’, including the big one, when we connect with our heart, we also Connect. With or without awareness, we connect with that creative dynamic loving mysterious impulse that underlies all life. Our own small heart renews its connection with every other heart of which we are all part too.
We remember. It’s the journey home.
That’s why it’s all about the love. For me. Love.

Share Button